.. Life moves on.. Time does not stop..

Last Saturday, I started to cry after finding out some not too good news. Sobbing, I related my unhappiness to some friends through sms. I was sure they will ask me if they found out from another source. I told them not to question me as then I was in no mood to explain. From the answers I received, I knew I have good friends! Someone always says "Ladies have good 6th sense". Perhaps, I knew it all along but I was too afraid or too unwilling to face it or even ask about it. This time, my heart fell, it chills and left me lost. This was a feeling which I did feel from reading books but for the first time, it really happened to me in real life.

That night, I could not sleep. From the crying I had a blocked nose but these was not the reason why I could not sleep. I tried to read to get myself into a sleepy mood but to no avail. Eventually, it took my body quite a long time to finally settle down. Woke up early the next morning, and switched on my laptop to play Facebook's games. The relevation from the previous night still haunt me and only time would tell whether it will go away. Previous night, I congratulated Someone and even wish him luck. I also told Someone that I will be sad. Guess I was being honest about it. He said we can still be friends! Either to assure him or console him, I said this is not the first time and I should be able to get over it. He told me he is glad to hear that. After surfing facebook for a while, someone came online. I started a normal conversation with him. From my perspectives, I do not want to lose a friend and which is what I am most concerned about. Maybe I am weird but Someone is still a friend that I want to keep. Only time will tell.

From this incident, I knew I have some good friends. In "Discussion with Youth", Ikeda Sensei wrote " True friendship implies a relationship where you empathize with your friends when they're suffereing and encourage them not to lose heart, and where they, in turn, empathize with you when you're in the same boat and try to cheer you up. A friendship with those qualities flows as beautifully as a pure, fresh stream." For this, I want to thank my friends for trying to cheer me up these past few days!

However as I reflected today, knowing Someone changes some of my habits. Firstly, I begin to sleep early and wake up earlier. This gives me time to do a bit more chanting, eat breakfast (which I have no habit of but is good.) and not feel so lethargic in the morning! For this, I really have to say "Thanks" (while bending my right hand to place palm on left side of chest and bows slightly) to Someone too.

Quote from Antoine de Saint-Exupery, the author of The Little Prince, " Love is not two person gazing at each other, but two people looking ahead together in the same direction".

Back again! Hopefully I'll stay.

This blog has been pretty quiet except for the random spams that rocked its surface every now and then. Is there an automatic virus that will spam blogs and leave unreadable messages that needs time to discipher? Well the world of IT is really unfathomable!

This entire year has been a busy time for me. You can even say it is life changing as this year I was given the opportunity to be part of the Singapore Youth Olympic Games (SYOG)! Not as an athletic but as part of its performing and volunteer team. Initially my plan was to be a volunteer to 1 of the NOCs but FD chief called and I got myself into the performing item as well. Training as 1 of the trainers for 1 of the opening ceremony's item started end of 2009. My journey as part of SYOG thus started. Somewhere end of 2009 to beginning of 2010, I received news that I would be a Block In-charge which means I would not be only be taking care of performers but also a group of trainers. However I was not alone as I had a great counterpart as Co-block In-charge. This committment added on to the Volunteer trainings that I had to find time to attend. Though I was not able to attend every training, I tried to get in touch with things I should know as a NOC volunteer.

14 August 2010 came and gone. The 2 weeks plus of competition and time spent in the SYOG village also came to an end on 27 August 2010. The NOC team I was involved with was a small team but nonetheless giving their best for this first YOG. It was a great experience and the comradeship formed was forever. Our performers enjoyed themselves and they have achieved something in their young life. To some, it is life changing, to others, it is a challenge which they have overcome and to me, maybe this is what I was meant to do when I came back from overseas a few years ago.

A few days ago, we received our long-awaited certificate of participation from the SYOG committee. The certificate will go in together with the rest of the certificates but the memories created will always be embedded in my life and in the photos that were taken.

Lastly to quote from Ikeda Sensei "Each of us must seek to discover the particular theme or motif that will characterize our life. An attitude of intense, undaunted seriousness toward each fleeting moment can open up a whole new life for us. "

The trainers for the SYOG's opening ceremony item "Playing with fire, pushing the limits".

With my wonderful co-block in-charge.

Post Christmas and counting down to 2010

2 more days to the end of 2009 before we welcome 2010. How fast a decade just goes by? It seems like yesterday, we are still talking about the new millenium and the Y2K bugs. This year we begin to discuss about 2012 and the end of the world. The movie rised questions about the possiblities of how natural disasater engulfing the world and as a result bring about our final demise. This is not too far from the truth when one hears and watched natural disaster afflicting many part of the world in the past few years. Although we get better at diasaster warning but it is still difficult to achieve hundred percent accuracy. Technology is limiting but probably we should learn from the animals. Some of them do present natural warning system as if they really know what is coming by the changing in the wind director or even the absence of wind. Perhaps, the evolution of these animals make them more adaptable to any changes and thus be able to brace for the worst.

Is the time of the year to review the past and set new resolutions. I guess I will have to seriously think back of what i have achieved so far and to set off again afresh in the new year.

"Life is best lived by being bold and daring. People tend to grow meek when they taste failure, face a daunting challenge or fall ill. Yet that is precisely the time to become even bolder. Those who are victors at heart are the greatest of all champions. " - Words of wisdom by Daisaku Ikeda Sensei.

Will carry on to blog in 2009! Hopefully the frequency will increase.

Blog mood - In need of coffee..

Was listening to BBC this morning on the way to work. My advise is not to listen to BBC in the morning, it can be quite mood dampening. News on the shoot and run case in Washington City was reported where 4 police officers were killed. I guess i rather listen to something more light-hearted to start the morning. Luckily, my bro changed the channel to the local radio station where they were joking about some news happening in Australia. This does not mean I m not interested but is kinda depressing hearing bad news every now and then.

Today is Monday, another week that begins with a blue mood. Hopefully it will start better tomorrow. Guess i really need at least 2 cups of coffee to last through the whole day.

Quote from "Words of Wisdom" from Daisaku Ikeda "It takes courage to become happy -- courage to remain true to one's convictions, courage not to be defeated by one's weaknesses and negativity, courage to take swift action to help those who are suffering. "

44 years of Nation building

Today is the 44th birthday of our nation. A long way since our independence in 1965. Well to those who were taught in school, we would not be here if not for the decision of our neighbour to oust us from the confederation of states. Every year, we celebrate our national building with a parade that consists of the marching contingents and various cultural perfromances. This year also marks the 25th year of Total Defence and we were treated to display of the country's preparedness for any internal threat! I love the naval display and special group such as the bomb disposal unit.

This year the host also appealed to all citizens who were watching the show to recite the pledge at a specific time at the end of the show! I wondered wether they were trying to break a guinness records. Anyway, as a patriotic citizen, I did my duty at that said moment. It is really special that as a country with multi racial people, all of us knew how to sing our national anthem which is in Malay. It is also a respect to the original people who settled on this island before it was discovered by chance by a prince from the neighbouring island. Subsequently due to trade, it was rediscovered by the East Indian Company and raised its status from a small malay fishing village to today's striving cosmopolitan of the world.

As a nation, urged by the Prime Minister in his National Day speech, we have to strive together and to unite as a people to face the challenges ahead. The country has expanded in all ways and more diverse than most can imagine when we gained independence in 1965. In order to assure that we continue to progress, we need to be more tolerant and accommodating to others' beliefs. However, each individual must also do their part as citizen and as human beings to build a community that we will be proud of. Peace starts from the individual.

"Everything begins with the resolve to take the first step. From that action, wisdom arises and change begins. Without action, nothing changes. " - Words of Wisdom by Daisaku Ikeda

To smile or not to smile.

I wonder what is the best method to deal with an emergency that suddenly croped up?

For instance, someone suddenly called you and told you that another person called her up and told her that he found some thing that was not supposed to be there lying just besides the bin found at the first level of the building that you are occuplying. She also told you to bring along suitable PPEs to deal with the matter. When you wavered a bit and told her you would also ask another colleague, she told you that you should be able to handle such a thing on your own without other guidance. She also told you to hurry up and get to the scene of the supposed crime. While still taking instructions from her over the mobile, you walked to your colleague seat to alert her of the case as well. After putting down the phone, you asked your colleague for the necessary PPEs cos it is stored underneath her table and also briefed her about what the caller had told you. Immediately, both of you went downstair to investigate.

Upon reaching the supposed crime scene (the instruction is a little bit out as the location is about 5m away from the instructions given). Anyway, you spotted the supposed illegal thing and approached it. Upon reaching the target, your colleague told you that thing was not what it supposed to be. This means the supposed "crime" was not a crime and a false alarm. Somehow we thought this was nothing to be of concern and of course, smile went around our face. I guess any normal human being after sensing the danger is no longer a danger will surely feel a sense of relief and smiled or even laughed at the fortunate discovery. Somehow this "smile" was taken as being slugglish or not sensing the imminent danger it would have posed if it was really the real thing! The caller called later to say that the informed has called her and informed her that we were treating the whole affair as a joke and not taking it seriously. By now, you would have guess the caller is my superior!

This supposed "crime" actually did occur before at the workplace and it was really taken very seriously then. We realised the seriousness if it was really the real stuff but what done cannot be undone. However what we found was a false alarm, I guess this really called for some relief.

Yes, it should have been dealt with better but I do not think the informer should called up and reported on us. If it was to be a real matter, we would have to investigate and trace it back to the propagator. I will probably also put on a mocking smile, lament on encountering such a scenario and record all possible traces/ clues and content before finding the best way to dispose it.

The next thing we could do was to be really angry, upset, screamed 'foul' and 'fool' on the propagator and put on a face that suited such occasion. After that, write angry but diplomatic email to the suspected propagator and his/ her superior, followed by reminders to the rest of the population that such behaviours are not to be tolerated. Is this the correct way?

I guess I know not. Probably I have not sensed the seriousness of the thing. If such things really do occur, it is a major bleach! After being months at the job, such urgencies or dire to do good has died down quite a lot. Facing the various kinds of restrictions and "red tape" or maybe no tape, passion do wan. Your "professional" knowledge and subject know-how are often doubted which make your statements falter. You do not trust yourself anyway. Probably one can see this positively and treat it as a training ground to polish the foundation and the subject matter, but too much of it can be mind warping! It do pain also when your trainings and qualifications are not being taken seriously or as necessary requirement for the job. You find that you are being denied and your heart faltered. Should this be the place that you should continue staying and see no recognition for what you have painstakenly qualified? Trainings are not exactly encouraged as they do not see the applicability at the place but are required if I am to remain qualified in the field.

External people are roped in to do a briefing which we should be doing because they belong to another section. It is an insult to our designation. In addition, my superior think we are not "qualified" to do such a briefing. Technically, we should be the correct and most qualified people to give such briefing because is what we are hired for! Irony......

I have not ventilated for a long time. Karma does follow us. Getting out of one hell does not guarantee getting to paradise because our karma does follow us. Characters and aspirations also play a part when we shift around job. Reflecting, I was happy to get out of my previous job and was anxious to start the current job. However, although it is what I want to do but I do not find the happiness nor the satisfaction. This current job pays better, regular timing, better boss and the appropriate designation. Have I been "tortured" or endured too long to feel happiness? Maybe my aspirations and my goals in life have moved on from what I want initially!

"The biggest obstacles to our progress exist within our own lives in the form of cowardice and the tendency to give up. Breaking through these barriers will unleash a surging wave of change. " - Words of Wisdom by Daisaku Ikeda

.. Some North American Airs..

Realised that I have not been blogging for donkey years! As a sign of guilt, I have decided to put up some photos of my recent trip to US to occupy some byte space. It has always been my long cherished dream to visit the States which means I would have been to at least 4 continents of the world. Although the trip was only to the east coast but this is probably where most American history begins. It is one thing to travel on one's own and another thing to join a tour. For my very first trip to the US, I decided to join a tour instead. Firstly, I do not have to plan for anything except to pay money and to make sure I catched the plane on time. Secondly, this is my first time there and I have no idea what to expect. In Europe, the train is the mightiest but the trains in US do not instill confidence. There are many ghost stories around to deter venturing out on my own although I also have lots of assurances from friends who have been, lived and travelled there!

I guess the American dream still lights in most citizens and the by-product of its involvement in world history in the last century can be clearly seen in its many monuments in Washington. My tour group was made up mostly of people from the other parts of the US and they are of Chinese and Vietnamese origin. Thus the tour leader spoke in Mandrain, Cantonese and English (cos she cannot speak Vietnamese!). In spite of the H1N1 virus, the coach was full and there are about 3 coaches from the same agency starting the tour on the same day. Guess either we were "gangho" people or we simply are ignorant of the health scares that were going around the world! Anyway, no one was wearing a mask and walking the street of New York!

The tour started on a Sunday from New York where we visited Ground Zero where many have fallen on the faithful day of September 11 2001, Wall Street where they are now trying to save the economy and the Madoff scandal, Empire State building, United Nation HQ, Intrepid (First time i am on an aircraft carrier) and a few others. From New York, we went on to Philadelphia for the historic part of town where u see the independent bell (featured in National Treasure I). Then on to Washington for the White House (seen from afar), monuments (Lincoln, Jefferson, Washington, Vietnam war, Korean war), National History Museum (in under 1 hour, have to walk the whole museum although the focus is suppose to be on the Hope Diamond. I did see 1 statute from Easter Island) and Capital Hill (photos photos).

The elephant that grazed the entrance to the Smithsonian's National History Museum at Washington.

From Washington, we move on to Buffalo (where the original Buffalo's wings are invented) for Niagara Falls (US side) but stopping for Hershey's Chocolate World and Corning Museum along the way. It is different seeing the falls with your naked eyes and from photos or website. It is magnificent! From the border, we crossed over to Canada to be overwhelmed by the Niagara Falls (Took the maid on the mist boat cruise, lunch on top of the Skylon Tower and IMAX experience) again before heading towards Ontario. Surprised to find that just off main shoreline of Ontario are offshore islands where it looks like u are in Amazon and not near one of the busiest city in Canada!

42th Street in New York. Musicals tinkling but no time for any!

External metal staircase found in old buildings along New York Street. This kind of architecture will have failed current fire Safety regulations.

After Ontario, we were ferried to Ottawa which is the Capital (Honestly, I have no idea that Ottawa is the Capital. Tot it was Ontario which also starts with "O".). Before we hit Ottawa, we went on a Thousand Islands cruise (islands that lie between US and Canada) where we were treated to the views of holiday homes belonging to the rich and famous. Some of the houses look like they are going sinking. Wannabe Robinson Crusoe may find these islands good training ground!

A house on one of the islands of Thousand Islands.

In Ottawa, our coach broke down and we were stranded in the vicinity of Ottawa University for a few hours before we were rescued and delivered to Montreal. What did we do in Montreal? Had dinner, stayed overnight and then left for Quebec the following morning. Quebec is a nice old town that resembles Europe. In Quebec, a must to visit the La Citadelle (motto: Je me souviens or I remember) and old town of Quebec.

I tot this is pretty interesting. Should consider having such stickers for toilet seats in Singapore.

Quebec was the last place we visited in Canada before going back to USA. Forward we travelled to Boston where Harvard and MIT are! Had wanted to get a Havard or MIT sweater but the designs at the Quincy Market were not very nice. Anyway it is too hot to wear a sweater in Singapore. What else is famous in Bostom? Lobsters! I do not take lobster so I watched while the others ate.

Trash from Harvard! Just to show they are human too!

The empty shell of a lobster head! Cost US$14 to have a whole lobster.

Cannot remember where this was taken. Probably Canada.

Beholds the magnificance of the fall!

In this set of chess, the pawns are made of chess!!

In Boston too, my mum met up with her friend who is staying there with her family. After Boston, is time to go home! Our plane took off from New Jersey Newark and this marked the end of my first USA trip!

Planning for a followup trip soon! I still have not visited their factory outlets or shake hand with American Mickey mouse!

"The true value of dialogue is not to be found solely in the results it produces but also in the process of dialogue itself, as two human spirits engage with and elevate each other to a higher realm." - Words of Wisdom by Daisaku Ikeda